Finding Peace in the Storm: Loving Yourself and Embracing the Right Relationships

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” – Philippians 4:6 (NIV)

Life is full of storms—some small, some catastrophic. We’ve all faced moments that shake us to our core, like the loss of a loved one or the end of a significant relationship.  I personally have particiapted in both the loss of a loved one and the end of one relationship to the next to the next, so many times I’ve loss count.  These moments test our strength, our peace, and our ability to remain grounded when everything around us is chaos. It’s during these storms that we have a choice: let them break us, or allow them to make us stronger, more resilient, and more whole.

Testing Your Peace in the Eye of the Storm

I can remember a time when I thought I had it going on. I had two cars, a house I had built from the ground up, my two gorgeous kids, a secure job, and a millionaire for a boyfriend.  It doesn’t get too much better than that.  I was the social butterfly that everyone loved. But then, boyfriend cheated.  I found out. I confronted him, and he put his hands on me. I left.  That hurt

Another test was when I had to sue my employer and because they were part of city government, I was hit with the Quid Pro Quo, a conspiracy that left me homeless, giving my kids up temporarily, evicted and thus living in my car. This caused depression, which cause drinking and drug abuse.   All this because I just wanted to go to work and not be part of a clique.

Retaining peace while the winds howl and the waves crash is no easy feat. It takes discipline and an unwavering connection to something greater than ourselves—God. In Philippians 4:6, we are reminded not to be anxious in these moments. Instead, we are called to present our worries to God with thanksgiving. Even in the darkest times, we can still find reasons to be grateful, to trust that God is working on our behalf, even when it’s hard to see.

But that peace doesn’t come from passively waiting for the storm to pass. It comes from actively engaging in self-reflection, in redefining who we are, what we stand for, and who we allow into our space. Testing your peace means asking yourself tough questions: “Am I loving myself the way I need to be loved?” “Am I giving my best energy to people who value it?” Because here’s the thing—you can’t pour from an empty cup.

Love Starts With You

Others can love you—your family, your friends, your partner—but no one can love you in the way that you need to love yourself. If you give your best energy to the wrong person, you will be left feeling drained and disappointed every time. No matter how deeply you love them, if they aren’t aligned with the version of yourself that you’re trying to build, it will only lead to frustration.

We’ve all been there. You pour your heart and soul into someone, only to find that no matter how much love you give, it’s not enough. It’s not that love isn’t real—it absolutely is. But love alone isn’t always enough to make a relationship work.

When you’re broken, you can only give fragments of yourself, and that’s not fair to you or the other person. Healing has to be a priority. The key to a healthy relationship is being able to offer the most unbroken part of you. The whole you. And when you’re whole, you can align with someone who is also whole, someone who matches your energy and is on the same page when it comes to what you both want from life.

The Power of Alignment

Being on one accord with your partner means more than just having shared goals—it means understanding that you both bring out the best and the worst in each other. It’s about recognizing that the privilege of being someone’s partner comes with great responsibility. You have the power to elevate them or hurt them, to uplift or tear down.

So, be wise in your actions. It’s easy to get caught up in ego, to act out of spite when you’re hurt, or to withdraw emotionally when things get tough. But the stronger, wiser choice is to embrace all your feelings. Be vulnerable, but not reckless. Be logical, but don’t let fear shut you off from your emotions. Silence the noise in your head and be true to what you really want.

You Want Love—So Stop Pretending You Don’t

We’ve all told ourselves at some point, “I don’t need a relationship,” or “I’m better off alone.” It’s easier to protect ourselves from disappointment when we say we don’t care. But the truth is, deep down, we all want love. We all want someone to share our life with, someone to grow with, someone to call home.

No one wants to die alone. But the fear of being hurt or rejected keeps us from admitting that. It’s time to stop lying to yourself. You want love. You want connection. You deserve it.

But remember, it’s not just about what you want—your partner has desires, perspectives, and expectations too. Relationships are a delicate dance between two people’s needs and wants, and they won’t always line up perfectly. That’s okay. It’s about finding someone whose values, energy, and spirit align with yours and who is willing to work through the inevitable challenges that come with growth and change.

Conclusion: Present Your Heart to God

In every situation, no matter how big or small, present your worries, your fears, your hopes, and your desires to God. He knows what you need, even when you’re unsure yourself. Through prayer and thanksgiving, He will grant you peace, strength, and clarity.

The storms in your life are not meant to destroy you but to shape you into someone stronger, more whole, and more loving. Trust that process, and above all, trust in God’s plan for your life. He knows exactly where you’re headed—even when you can’t see the way.

So keep driving forward, with peace in your heart, and trust that the blessings will follow.