Giving a man your sex and your heart too soon will never work. It’s toxic, and always end in bad energy. Ladies, it’s time for a radical shift in how we approach relationships and value ourselves. We give our all to our partners, only to be taken for granted or worse, taken advantage of. But no more! Today, we start a new movement of self-respect, where we make a commitment to ourselves to not give him our all if we want him to truly value us. Our key message is ‘Realize Your Value and Don’t Give Him Your All.’ That’s right, ladies – we need to start valuing ourselves. We should not give up what matters most to us, such as our opinions, our dreams, and our time, just because we think it will make our partners value us more. Instead, by taking the time to recognize our own needs and be respectful of them, we are showing our partners that we are worth valuing. Now let’s not get it twisted, or unclear valuing ourselves does not happen by devaluing your dude. Let’s keep it grown, sexy and mature here. To value your guy, which you should, you must first master self-worth. We need to spread this message to all the ladies out there. But it’s not just about spreading the message. We need to ensure that we back it up with action. We need to organize a series of global events where women can come together and get resources related to setting healthy boundaries, creating relationships for mutual respect, and more. Ladies let’s give ourselves the love and respect that we truly deserve today. Let’s make a commitment to ourselves not to give him our all if we want him to value us. Let’s start taking the steps needed to realize our own value and make sure that we get the respect that we deserve by spreading the message of self-respect to all the ladies out there. #DontGiveHimYourAll
Category: Dating & Relationships
Black Men want to Lead in their Relationship, Household & Profession but are they up for the task?
Now more than ever, black men are in a unique position to lead in relationships. The winds of the 21st century have brought on increased visibility and influence for black males and collective strides in leadership. This is a valuable opportunity for a group generations in the past were less encouraged to assume any type of leadership. However, with this newfound authority over relationships comes great responsibility. As a black man, you must be willing to take ownership of your own journey and commit to a supportive and uplifting dynamic with your partner. There are unique historical, educational, and economic factors that make it even more crucial for black men to prove they can lead without prejudice, and step up and out of their comfort zones. The realities of racial, gender, and social bias still exist, even if we like to think not. There are misconceptions to be addressed, stereotypes to dissertation, and naysayers to prove wrong. It all starts with a self reflective journey to explore your own biases, values, and definitions of leadership. The reassuring part is that in today’s society, black men now have the capability, confidence, and community to pursue relationships as a leader. Black men can be supportive, involved, communicative, and emotionally intelligent. They can set healthy boundaries. These qualities demonstrate his ability to lead, but how does a black man effectively flex these abilities in the face of social norms and traditional relationships? It requires an openness to encountering the unknown and having honest conversations about expectations and desires. Of course, nobody is perfect, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach that works for all black men. Each relationship is unique, and the way you express yourself as a black man may differ from others. What matters most is that you take ownership of your own identity as a leader, and refuse to be reduced to societal stereotypes. Leadership for black men is not impossible; it is only rarely attempted in a present-day relationship. With a personal commitment to take ownership and make the necessary adjustments, black men can unapologetically embrace the leadership they bring to relationships.
Step Up and Seize the Moment: Empowering Young Women to Embrace Their Independence!
As a young woman, it can be hard to find the confidence to go out in the world and make something of yourself. You are probably questioning whether or not you are capable and strong enough to take the necessary steps towards financial independence and building a future for yourself. But, young sister, rest assured that you have the ability to become a powerful and independent woman. Financial independence is crucial for your personal development as a young woman and it’s something you should strive for. Learning how to manage your finances and save up will give you immediate and long-term benefits. When your finances are in order, you don’t have to worry about having enough money to pay your bills or enjoy life’s pleasures. You can be in control of your finances and life. To get started on your journey towards financial independence, begin by evaluating your current spending habits and setting a budget for yourself. Identifying where your money goes and understanding how your expenses influence your financial health is a great place to start. Make saving a priority and set realistic goals – you’ll be surprised at how much you can save when you have a plan! Another important step to becoming financially independent is developing business skills and investing. Learning how to properly and safely invest your money can have a major benefit on your financial health and independence. With the information and resources available today, it’s never been easier to start investing. Consider researching the stock market and different types of investments to determine which method is right for you. Finally, continue to learn and push yourself. You will experience bumps in the road while becoming financially independent, but they shouldn’t discourage you from pursuing your dreams. When a challenge arises, take it as an opportunity to grow and learn. Find a mentor or someone who can lend you their knowledge and guidance. You don’t have to do it all alone – building a strong support system is an invaluable asset. Becoming financially independent is an empowering and impactful journey. You have the ability to take control of your finances and create the life you’ve always dreamed of. So, young woman, take this chance to explore and take action – you are more than capable of becoming a powerful and independent woman. Start your journey today and trust the process.
Natural Cures for Black Women Living with Arthritis
Dear AskDoGood Community, We’re here to talk about a topic we believe is very important: natural remedies for arthritis in black women. Recent studies show that arthritis disproportionately affects black women. It affects approximately 23 percent of black women over the age of 65, and studies show this is likely due to a combination of lifestyle, genetics, and environment. Arthritis is a very painful and debilitating condition that affects many aspects of your life, so it’s essential to find ways to ease its symptoms. Thankfully, there are some natural remedies you can use to help manage your arthritis pain. One natural remedy to help with arthritis is to regularly exercise. Exercise helps reduce inflammation and stretching helps to keep your joints flexible and strong. You don’t have to go to a gym, as you can get moving around the house doing chores, walking instead of taking elevator, parking far away from destination and so much more. Besides regular exercise, consuming certain foods may help reduce inflammation and swelling in the joints. Foods high in antioxidants like cherries, tomatoes, and green tea can help soothe inflammation as well. Another natural remedy is to apply an ice pack or warm compress directly to the affected area. Applying heat or cold can help reduce pain and swelling. Lastly, it is important to get enough rest to reduce joint stiffness and fatigue. It is best to get into a routine of stretching all limbs in the morning and at night. We hope these tips provide relief to those of you suffering from arthritis pain. Remember, there is no one-size-fits-all solution, so be sure to do your research and talk to your doctor before trying any natural remedies. Wishing you the best of luck on your road to recovery. Sincerely, The AskDoGood Team
An Introvert’s Guide to Dating
Have you ever felt misunderstood or overwhelmed by conventional dating advice? Are you tired of hearing about how “dating is just a numbers game”? Much of conventional relationship advice doesn’t take introversion into account. Introverts are people who focus inward and tend to be more in touch with their thoughts and feelings. They are best known for needing alone time to recharge their energy. Sometimes, people mistake that fact to mean introverts are shy – but that is not always the case. Introverts do, however, tend to prefer smaller groups of 1-3 people rather than feeling alone yet surrounded by a large group of people. As an introvert, you are probably looking for a relationship that hits on a deeper level. Seeking that deeper connection might make dating in an era of hookup culture difficult – but that doesn’t mean dating is impossible. And, as an introvert, you might also dread the idea of going on a date, feeling lost by obligatory small talk. How to create your own rules and date as an introvert: 1. Know how self-aware you need your partner to be. Because introverts spend so much time thinking inward, they tend to be self-aware. What level of self-awareness are you looking for in a partner? Some people aren’t as self-reflective. Are you willing to support someone who’s willing to learn? 2. Let the person you’re dating in, too. Do you have a harder time letting people in? Sometimes introverts give off the impression that they are not interested. People may find it difficult to get to know you. Ensure that you are sharing and opening up about yourself, too! – Be proud of your interest in Lord of the Rings or puppies. – Share your hobbies and interests, too! – When your date answers a question, try to relate with them by sharing something similar about yourself too. 3. Give yourself recharge time. Be cautious about running your batteries out of energy. Give yourself time to recharge, so you show up to your dates energized and non-resentful. 4. Choose dates that aren’t too hectic. Choose a comfortable setting for a date. If conversation over dinner is not your idea of fun, then plan an experience or activity you can do together. Try to choose something that won’t overwhelm or overstimulate you. 5. Go at your own pace. Try not to fall into pressure to move faster or turn dating into a numbers game. Do what works for you and what makes you comfortable! Go to places you enjoy and find ways to skip the small talk if that’s what you prefer. 6. Treat each date as practice. Sometimes we might automatically think something is high stakes, and then feel devastated if it doesn’t work out. Instead, take on the mindset that every date is practice. Ask open ended questions and commit to learning something from each date. 7. If you are dating an extrovert, emphasize that they may not understand at first. Your extrovert date might move at a different pace or want to go out all the time. They might not understand your need to recharge alone. Commit to gently explaining your perspective and being transparent with how you are feeling and what you need. Dating as an introvert might just feel different overall. You might feel overwhelmed or that there is something wrong with you. But as an introvert, you have so many superpowers! The people you date will be so lucky to be around your empathetic, understanding, and vulnerable energy.
What You Need to Know About Serotonin and Weight Loss
Do you diet and exercise, but stay the same size? A serotonin imbalance could be the reason that you find it difficult to lose weight. Serotonin may be best known as a neurotransmitter that fights anxiety and depression. However, it also plays a major role in digestive health. In fact, most of the serotonin in your body is in your gut, rather than in your brain. Put this natural appetite suppressant to work for you. Learn more about how serotonin affects weight loss and lifestyle choices you can make that will help it to do its job. How Serotonin Affects Weight Loss: 1. Curb your appetite. Serotonin affects your brain’s melanocortin system, which is partly responsible for controlling body weight. It activates some neurons that decrease appetite and blocks others that increase appetite. 2. Resist cravings. Do you yearn for chips and cookies in the late afternoon and evening? Serotonin can be especially helpful in reducing carbohydrate cravings. Keep in mind that your body still needs some healthy carbohydrate calories, typically about 40% of your daily intake. 3. Burn more calories. Low serotonin levels may also cause your body to store more fat. Correcting any imbalance can help you lose weight around your midsection, which is very beneficial for your overall health. 4. Reduce emotional eating. Do you reach for comfort food when you’re sad or frustrated? You may find yourself eating less as serotonin helps stabilize your moods. How to Boost Serotonin: 1. Work out. Physical exercise increases serotonin. Aim for at least 150 minutes a week of moderate-intensity activity. Focus on cardio activities and strength training if you’re trying to lose weight. 2. Adjust your diet. A nutritious diet rich in whole foods supports serotonin production. For a bigger boost, consume probiotics and foods high in tryptophan, like salmon and chia seeds. 3. Manage stress. On the other hand, cortisol and other stress hormones suppress serotonin. Develop a daily practice of taking time to relax. 4. Consider supplements. While research findings are mixed, some adults report positive results using serotonin supplements. You can also find formulas with related substances like 5-HTP and vitamin D. 5. See your doctor. There can be many medical reasons why you have trouble losing weight. Your doctor can help you understand your serotonin needs and other treatment options. Other Natural Appetite Suppressants: 1. Eat more fiber. Along with serotonin and exercise, there are many more natural and safe ways to regulate hunger. One of the most effective is focusing on foods high in fiber that will fill you up with fewer calories. 2. Drink water. Beverages with little or no calories can quench your thirst and make food easier to resist. Sip water or tea throughout the day. 3. Slow down.Your brain needs about 20 minutes to register that it’s full. Sit down and savor your food. Talk with your family or dinner companions. You’ll make mealtimes less fattening and more fun. 4. Add spices. Certain seasonings can put the brakes on your appetite. Flavor your dishes with ginger, black pepper, and cinnamon. 5. Distract yourself. Remember there’s a difference between true hunger and appetite. You may be eating for psychological reasons if you only want something specific, like ice cream or pizza. Entertain yourself with activities other than food and give your cravings time to pass. When your serotonin levels are balanced, you’ll have more energy and feel full while eating less food. Along with losing weight, you may also enjoy greater happiness, sounder sleep, and significant relief from headaches and many other common conditions.
Top 10 Benefits of Adopting a Vegan Lifestyle
A vegan diet doesn’t sound too appetizing to most meat, cheese, and egg lovers. However, a vegan diet can be kind to your health and your wallet. You also gain the benefit of knowing that you’re being kinder to animals and the environment. Making the switch isn’t easy, but you might find it a little easier if you know more about the benefits that veganism provides. It’s not necessary to make a complete change overnight. Make the change slowly over time. Note how you feel and then decide how you’d like to progress. Veganism has many advantages to offer: 1. Vegans enjoy better overall health. You can count on having lower blood pressure, cholesterol levels, body weight, risk of heart disease, and risk of Type-2 diabetes. 2. Veganism is better for the environment. The resources necessary for meat production are significant. Far more water and land are required to provide one serving of beef than one service of fruit, grains, or vegetables. Consider how much grain a cow or pig must consume to reach adult weight. 3. It’s kinder to animals. Animals raised for meat often live horrible lives, not to mention they’re all eventually killed before they die of natural causes. Poor living conditions are the norm for animals used to provide meat. Even cows raised for milk production or chickens raised for eggs often endure unpleasant living conditions. 4. You decrease your psychological dependence on food. Vegans tend to be thin. One reason is the high-bulk and low calories found in many vegan foods. The other reason has to do with the lack of psychological satisfaction vegan foods provide. A bowl of beans isn’t quite as enticing as a bowl of ice cream, especially if you’re not hungry in the first place. Vegans are much less likely to overeat. 5. Disease prevention. Vegans enjoy lower incidence of breast cancer, colon cancer, prostate cancer, macular degeneration, cataracts, arthritis, and osteoporosis. 6. Lower body weight. Vegan populations have lower body mass indices that those that consume meat regularly. 7. Longevity is increased. Those that avoid meat and milk products live an average of six years longer than those that consume those food products. A vegan lifestyle can be a reliable way to ensure you spend a few more years living your life. 8. Migraine relief. Vegan’s report having fewer migraine headaches than non-vegans. Those that routinely suffer from migraine headaches can often find relief by adopting a vegan diet. 9. Fewer contaminants in food. Meat, milk, and eggs can potentially introduce unhealthy chemicals into the diet. Many herbicides, pesticides, and heavy metals can concentrate in animal-based fat. The animals that provide these foods are often given growth hormones and antibiotics that can remain in the products you consume. 10. A vegan diet can be less expensive. Meat and cheese tend to be expensive food items. Consider how inexpensive beans, rice, oatmeal, and many vegetables can be. That’s not to say a vegan can’t spend a lot of money at the grocery store, but the option to keep food costs to a minimum is there. Becoming vegan requires dedication, planning, and sacrifice. There are many benefits you’ll enjoy by eating a vegan diet. The diet can benefit your health, finances, self-esteem, and your waistline. The environment also benefits when fewer animal products are consumed. Consider these advantages and decide if a vegan lifestyle is for you. Start slowly and have a few vegan meals each week. Notice how you feel 2-4 hours after consuming them. This alone might be a good enough reason to make the switch.
How to Solve Trust Issues in a Relationship
At some point or another, you’re likely to experience trust issues in your relationship. Whether it’s brought about by infidelity, a decrease in your own self esteem, your partner’s newly hired young assistant, or a simple change in your partner’s behavior, your relationship can weather this storm and rise above feelings of uncertainty. Follow these tips to solve the trust issues you face so you can experience the thriving relationship you deserve: 1. Work on your self-esteem. Many trust issues in relationships that were once thriving stem from personal insecurities. If you’ve experienced significant changes in your appearance or noticed a drop in your self-esteem, it’s important to build up your body image and self worth in order to rebuild the trust in your relationship. • It’s common to become suspicious of the company that your significant other is keeping when your self-esteem plummets. The way you perceive yourself may be the only thing in your relationship that has changed. 2. Reflect on your past. Did something happen in your childhood that has caused you to become wary of trusting your heart to anyone? Did your parents choose to divorce when you were young? Were you sexually abused in the past? • These things and more can be responsible for your inability to trust others. When you’ve endured emotional trauma, especially during your youth, its effects can last decades. Speak to a therapist to help you find the root of the issue and learn how to work past the event. 3. Talk about any indiscretions. If there has been infidelity within your relationship, it’s vital to hash out all hurt feelings and future expectations. 1 • If you’ve cheated, it’s normal for your partner to act clingy for a while. They’ll want to know where you are, what you’re doing, and what time you’ll be home. They’ll ask if you’ll be alone with anyone. Answer their questions truthfully and understand that they are hurting. 4. Recommit yourself to one another. Sometimes a relationship needs a sign of recommitment and devotion. Do something special together that signifies that your love can and will overcome anything. • If you’re married, renew your vows to make it known that your love is abundant and can rise over any obstacles that life may throw your way. • If you’re dating, go away on a relaxing day trip together and write a letter to each other exclaiming your love and devotion. 5. Spend more time together. Both you and your partner are constantly changing internally and your needs and wants are also subject to change. Ensure that you’re truly there alongside your partner to witness and be a part of those changes by devoting more time to one another. Trust is about more than believing that your partner will remain faithful. It’s about trusting that your partner will always be there for you in times of need, while also being a prominent part of the most important events in your life. Work on your trust as romantic partners – and as best friends – to truly guarantee a fruitful union.
Setting Healthy Boundaries for Lasting Love
Have you ever felt angry or hurt because of something your partner said or did? Setting healthy boundaries can help you protect your emotional energy and deepen the connection within your relationship. Boundaries are the guidelines we set about our expectations, availability, and energy. Because boundaries communicate how we feel, they prevent us from over committing or feeling resentful. They also help give others guidelines with how to treat you. They do not have to be hard, aggressive rules. Setting boundaries allows us to be transparent with our partner about how we feel, so we can have a deeper, longer, lasting relationship. The word boundary might be interpreted as pushing someone away. It is better described as an invitation to let your partner in to learn more about you and your needs. Setting boundaries with your partner can improve the strength of your relationship. Not only are you inviting your partner to learn more about you, but you are also claiming responsibility for your emotions and how you take care of yourself. Benefits to setting healthy boundaries: 1. Take care of mental health. Boundaries allow you to take responsibility for your emotional energy and mental health. Setting healthy boundaries can help you name your limits with your emotional energy in mind. 2. Give both partners a safe space to be transparent and vulnerable. Setting boundaries creates a safe container for both partners to be honest. It’s a way to grow trust and foster love. 3. Learn about yourself. Learning where your boundaries are is a process of tuning into your own needs. Setting boundaries allows us to care for ourselves and remove resentment. Follow these tips to set boundaries in your relationship: 1. Include your partner. Let your partner know why you might be setting boundaries. Check in with their emotions. Invite your partner to learn about setting boundaries along with you. 2. Explore what you need. Pay attention to where you might feel resentment, guilt, or anger towards your partner. – What makes you feel uncomfortable? – What values are important to you? 3. Make the boundary about you and your needs. When you state a boundary, focus on you. “It was great to spend time together this weekend. I would like to decompress alone the rest of the night. Want to get lunch in a couple days?” “In order to continue this discussion, I need us to be calmer.” “I feel attacked when my point of view isn’t considered. I need a space to feel heard and understood.” 4. Start with thank you. If you have trouble setting boundaries, start by thanking the other person for their thoughts or requests. “Thank you for wanting to spend time together, but I would like to spend some time decompressing.” “Thank you for inviting me to spend time with your family. I would like to spend some time with them and feel free to leave when I feel tired.” Healthy vs. Unhealthy Boundaries As you and your partner set boundaries, it’s important to understand that setting a boundary with the intent of controlling the other is not a healthy boundary. For example, one person might say, “You cannot dance salsa with others, because I get jealous.” That reflects a lack of trust and attempts to maintain control over the other person. A healthy boundary does not control the other person. They’re about what makes you feel most comfortable, but without trying to control the other. Boundaries respect and honor both parties to grow and thrive together. Although committing to grow together, you and your partner are still two different people with separate needs and expectations. Boundaries ensure that you both continue to respect one another, communicate, and honor each other’s needs. Boundaries will deepen the connection between you and your partner as you learn more about the other.
Pro Tips for Giving Your Partner a Massage
You don’t have to be a professional masseuse to give your partner a high-quality massage. However, giving a good massage is probably more challenging than you think. You can’t just pull a bottle of moisturizer out of the bathroom closet and start slathering it on your partner. There’s some skill and technique involved. Learn how to give a great massage and your partner will be impressed and grateful. A great massage is something your partner won’t soon forget! Try these techniques: 1. Consider the location and the surface. Privacy can matter, depending on the type of massage. You might be able to massage your partner’s neck at the park, but there are some massage options that might be questionable to do in public. Then again, the kitchen floor might be private, but less than appealing. The environment matters. ● A firm surface is best. It’s not easy to give a great massage on a soft bed. In fact, it’s uncomfortable for the giver and the receiver. A clean, carpeted floor can work well, but can be hard on the knees of the masseuse. If you want to get really fancy, consider buying a massage table. 2. The type of oil or lotion matters. Many skin moisturizers are poor choices for massage purposes. They don’t glide well and absorb into the skin too quickly. Choose an oil that’s intended for massage purposes. It might take some experimentation to find the best one for you and your partner. 3. Use the oil properly. Warm the massage oil before applying it to the body. You can pour it onto your hands and warm it by rubbing your hands together. You can also warm the bottle in warm water. ● Always avoid applying the oil directly to your partner’s body. Always apply it to your hands. This avoids over application of the oil and helps to normalize the temperature of the oil. 4. Lighting, music, scent. Consider all the aspects of the location where you’ll be giving the massage. There are many options for lighting. You can use color lighting, candles, or anything else that you think will work. Low lighting is often the best option. ● Nature sounds? Soft jazz? No noise at all? It’s up to you and your partner. ● Some people love strong scents, while others find them offensive. Some people love the smell of lavender, and others despise it. Choose wisely. 5. Start with the bigger muscles. It’s best to begin with the back and the thighs. You can then branch out to the shoulders, arms, neck, and lower legs. ● Focusing on the bigger muscles first will help your partner to relax sooner and more deeply. 6. Get the pressure right. A massage can be too hard or too soft. Communicate with your partner and get feedback. It won’t take long before you know what your partner likes. 7. Avoid going too fast. It can take a little time to really work a muscle thoroughly. If you move your hands too quickly, or move to a new area too quickly, your partner can feel frustrated. Take your time. It’s not a race. 8. Avoid lingering too long. It’s also possible to spend too much time on one area. The skin and the muscle can become irritated if you focus for too long on one spot. 9. Learn more There are many styles of massage and many massage techniques. Consider getting a book or taking a class. There’s much to learn! 10. Take turns! You’ll learn more about giving a massage if you’re regularly on the receiving end of one. Besides, you deserve it! Surprise your partner this weekend with a professional quality massage. You’ll be impressed by how many points you score and by how much fun you have in the process. Make plans to shake up your weekend routine and pamper your partner.